Coming Home

Coming Home

When I left Cambodia 9 months ago, I had lived here for 13 plus years and I could not wait to leave.  This past Saturday I stepped off the plane and was amazed at how excited it was and how much it felt like I was coming home.  

I have not written much in the past months, I think I was just tired, and nothing was sparking my mind to talk about.  It involved much sleep and mindless actives, but my mind in renewed and has been a bit on sensory overload.  

The heat is as oppressive, but I am used to that.  Things have changed, new businesses have opened and old friends have closed their shops and moved into new ventures.  Projects have been completed and new projects started.  It is the way of life, change and progress. 

But underneath it all are friends, smiles and great memories.  It has been a busy week catching up with people and helping Divine get a new foot hold and vision for the future. Jet lag won out the other day, but I am pretty sure the smile has not left my face, since meeting a friend who picked us up at the airport.  

Not slowed by the rain or the heat they days are quickly passing and soon I will be headed back to my apartment in Kansas.  It is a sign of the modern times, jet travel and moving around.  But what I have learned in the past few months, is home is where you have friends, a sense of purpose and want to hang your hat, literally. 

I am a blessed girl, because I can feel at home in Cambodia, Southern California and now Kansas. 

7 An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess

[caption id="attachment_196" align="alignright" width="150"] An experimental mutiny against excess[/caption]

I am in week 6 of this study, which is a total of 9 weeks, There is an intro and 7 weeks of varying fasts and a wrap up. I have been going through this study with my mom & dad and a very dear friend.  We meet on Thursday mornings for about two hours to discuss the study and then just discuss life in general.  I was most interested in this study, but it has gone far beyond what I expected.

Week 1 was a fast from food.  For all of you thinking I could not possibly fast from food for a week, you could do this.  There were a few options but I chose to limit myself to 7 food items, which were; chicken, eggs, rice, apples, broccoli, cauliflower and yogurt.  The week flew by, I did go out to eat, once at panda express and once to el pollo loco, it was much easier than I thought and with limited choices it was easier to shop and prepare food.

Week 2 was clothing.  Yes, limiting my clothing to 7 items.  I had to modify a bit.  I was speaking at church that week, and going to a play so I used the same outfit.  I have my workout clothes and that was an outfit, because I am working out 4 times a week, and then I chose, 1 pr of capris jeans, yoga pants, a t-shirt, short sleeved sweater and a jacket - yep I rode Trixie my vespa and I need a jacket for that.  Again easier than I thought but required a bit more planning and time with the washer, but since all the items mixed and matched it was 1 load of laundry.

Week 3 - stuff.  I got rid of 7 items a day.  However the goal was to try and give them to someone who could use them.  Not that the goodwill is not a choice, but to be more relational in pairing down and assisting someone who needs help.  I collected some clothing for a person who got a new job and did not have the appropriate clothing.  Then cleared through some of my other things, I have had for quite some time in storage in my attic. It felt good and I have continued to give things away.

Week 4 - Media - I did not find it really difficult to disconnect my screens for a week.  I already take a sabbath rest from the computer.  I spent time writing and reading actual paper books, imagine that.

Right now we are winding up week 5 which is waste - This week, we have been challenged to look at the amount of waste we create, and make some choices that are better for creation care.  You know those reusable bags, that have been in my trunk, well they moved into the car and were used or I did not take a bag.  I have long loved shopping at Thrift stores, and just today I purchased a new shirt and capris, and since I am using the 1 in 1 out rule, I will be getting rid of 2 items in my closet.

We have two weeks to go, which will be spending and stress, I am looking forward to them.  But I wanted to share what I have learned up to this point.

Have you ever watch one of those decorating shows on HGTV?  If you have they always take all the furniture and items out of the room and then decide what to put back in.  Well this experiment has been like that.  Each week as I have undertaken the fast, it frees me to make the choice what to put back in my life, a positive choice, verses removing things from my life which seems negative like I am restricting myself.

This new perspective has been refreshing and invigorating as I am making choices about how I want to live my life.  I am choosing to eat healthier, spend less, give more, develop a capsule wardrobe, and drink more water.  I think I was on autopilot for so long that I did not take the time to really look at my life and make the choices, instead it took a mutiny to challenge me to change.

I hope that you are at a place in your life where you are making the choices to live an abundant life.  Jesus said, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  Are you?

Transitions and Genesis

Nearly two months ago I transitioned from Cambodia to the United States.  After living outside of the US for 13 years, that means I have been making many adjustments in my day to day life. I am dealing with sticker shock - everything is so expensive, and far from me.  I used to live in an urban setting so I could walk out my gate and there were shops selling necessary items, it was easy.



A couple of weeks ago I listened to a sermon on Genesis 1.  Five times in that chapter it says, “and there was evening, and there was morning.  The preacher was talking about how different the Israelites view a day.  Their day starts in the evening, then they sleep through the night and then there is morning and the rest of the day.  Instead of the typical American view where the day starts in the morning, groggy and caffeinated to shift into go mode.

I have to admit that I stopped listening to him at one point  and started thinking about transition.  That is because all transitions starts with and ending, then the transition and lastly the new beginning. I am here to work on my health, lose some weight and spend some time with God, listening for what’s next.  Is that back to Cambodia, off to a new location or settling back into life in the US.  I will freely admit that I am still in the beginning phases of this transition.

Two months in I feel like the ending is finishing up, and I am entering the transition part.  I have a car, insurance, and am staying with my folks at the moment.  I have been weeding through my stuff and simplifying, by getting rid of things that don’t make sense for this time in my life.  It is hard knowing what to keep and get rid of when the future is fuzzy.

I think this is a personal Genesis for me - the meaning of this word is “the origin or mode of formation of something.”  Yes, this is the formation of the next part of my life no matter what it brings, but the thing I know to be true is that it will become clear as I walk faithfully with God and I am in the place to hear, which unfortunately means waiting for right now.

 

Are you transitioning?  Does it involve waiting faithfully?  How does that make you feel?

Puzzles

Over Thanksgiving weekend I traveled to some friends house about 3 hours away.  It is a funny thing when you travel away from home; you allow yourself to take time to rest and relax, but do not seem to do so when you are at home. Why is that?



Through out the weekend we ate turkey and ham multiple times, played games and had a puzzle set out.  There were quiet times of reading, raucous times of games out doors with the kids and then, some good old fashioned card playing.

But as the weekend went on, almost everyone sat down and spent some time working on fitting in puzzle pieces. It was 1000 pieces and nearly completed by the time I had to leave to go home.

Yes, I like puzzles. They give me time to think and focus on something, which frees my brain from day to day, activities.  It works much like a reset button.  I get lost in the task and allow the stresses of daily life to drift away.

However, this puzzle set me to thinking.  Typically I do them by myself, but this one had many hands working on it.  There were multiple theories on how to approach it. Like, a friend who never looks at the box, or another who does not begin with the edge pieces, or myself who ferrets out the corners first.

The picture came together slowly, because there were parts that were being assembled outside the frame.  When one of those was placed, the picture became fuller and progress was seen.  I think one of the things I so enjoy about puzzles is the sense of accomplishment; when you get that one piece you have been looking for and it fits into its spot.

But in the past, I have had puzzles where it was hard to tell if the piece fit or not.  On those occasions, I usually had misplaced a piece or two, which caused frustration, as I could not find the piece that fit next.

My thoughts were about how a puzzle is like life.  Sometimes as I move along, I think I see the picture clearly and how a specific piece fits into the whole.  But on occasion, I am mistaken and it takes awhile to find the incorrect piece and get back on track.  So often the picture is not clear.

However Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God he has a plan for us and it is for a hope and future.  Yes, that has been a comforting thought over the years.

It is like working a puzzle with no box.  I think the box makes it easier, but the accomplishment without the box is much greater still.  Life is like a puzzle without the box.  The picture unfolds in bits and pieces.  When we find that perfect fit, it is a day of exceeding happiness.

How is your life like a puzzle?

Back to Cambodia

I last left you in Hoi An on my way back to Cambodia.  It required a 50 minute flight from DaNang to Pleiku.  An overnight stay and the first place I hit rain the entire time I have been in Vietnam.  Which is rather amazing since while I was gone it rained constantly in Cambodia.  Phnom Penh flooded and over 100 people died due to flash flooding in various locations throughout the country.

Pleiku was the first place in Vietnam where I was off the tourist circuit so I was having a difficult time communicating.  Almost no one spoke English.  It took multiple tries, but finally got a taxi to the bus station, and a place on a mini van headed to the Cambodia border.   It was approximately 90 kilometers but the trip took nearly 3 hours.

[caption id="attachment_173" align="alignright" width="150"] Yaklom Lake, Ratanakiri Cambodia[/caption]

When we were within a stones throw of Cambodia, people started to speak Khmer, so things were looking up.  I coordinated travel to the Eco Lodge where I was going to stay.  It was the easiest border crossing ever, I was the only white person crossing, but I already had a visa.

It had rained on and off the entire morning from Pleiku to the border, but it had stopped at the border.  Within an hour we arrived at the Yaklom Lodge.  Come to find out I was the only one staying there.  Excellent I thought, quiet time to myself.

The problem with an eco lodge is this, no electricity, it works off of solar power, but it was overcast the day I arrived, and rained the entire next two days, so no power.  They ran a generator each night for 3 hours.  So, it was dreary, dark and damp the entire time I was there.

[caption id="attachment_174" align="alignleft" width="150"] Yaklom Lodge Ratanakiri, Cambodia[/caption]

But no matter, I got reading, planning, praying and napping done.  It was a good time to be unconnected from the internet and spend some time with my own thoughts..  I realized that I have made the mental shift, I am moving back to the states, and these past three weeks, have created the space for that transition to happen.

So, my third day I coordinated a moto to pick me up and take me to the bus depot to catch a mini van to Phnom Penh.  I was told the trip would take 10 hours at a cost of 50,000 Riel or $12.50.  It was an interminably bumpy 9.5-hour trip.

It was through some of the most gorgeous green rice fields, on roads I had never traveled before.  I had not gotten out to see much of Ratanakiri due to the rain, but this scenery was amazing.  However the serenity of it all was broken up by 9.5-hours of Khmer Karaoke.  I thought because I was in a mini van I would not have to listen to or watch Karaoke boy was I wrong.

As is always true, even of the best trips it is good to come home to my own bed, my friends and my life.  But this life has less than 90 days before I take my belongings and relocate to SoCal.  Life is a daily adventure I say.

Trip to Preah Vihear Temple

[caption id="attachment_144" align="aligncenter" width="762"] Spectacular view[/caption]

I have lived in Cambodia a long time, but I was working, so traveling around the country was not a high priority.  I drove around a lot in the middle years doing ministry.  So, for vacation I wanted to get out of Cambodia and enjoy a nice Thai beach or head into Bangkok where there were movie theaters and fast food.

I once tried to vacation in Kompong Som (Sihanoukville) but when you speak the language it is a lot harder to ignore the beggars and pushy little kids selling things.  So, I always figured there was more time to go and see some of the sites of Cambodia.

So, here I am 13 years later and my list is quite long of things I want to see in Cambodia.  Admittedly I will probably not get it all done, but am making a valiant effort.  On the other hand it gives me something to look forward to upon my return.

A rather long intro to explain what put me in the taxi for the 3.5 hour trip to Preah Vihear.   I was picked up by a rather nice taxi guy, who was explaining to me that when we arrive, I would have to rent a moto or a 4x4 truck, to get me to the actual temple.  That they do not allow his Camry to go up the mountain.

[caption id="attachment_145" align="alignright" width="191"] 2nd Level Temple[/caption]

A side note on language; Phnom as in Phnom Penh means mountain.  If you have ever been to Phnom Penh, you know it is an exceptionally flat city.  So, I am always a bit hesitant when a Cambodian calls something a mountain – usually they are referring to a small hill.  There is one mountain range in Cambodia running down the western side of the country all the way to the coast, called the Cardamom Mountains.  They truly are mountains.

So, I was taking, a I will wait and see approach to making a decision about this.  But as we got closer, he pointed out the mountain, and it truly was a mountain that was rather steep, I could tell by the switchbacks in the road.  Needless to say I opted for the truck.

[caption id="attachment_147" align="alignleft" width="186"] Selfie - I am getting better at it - note the sneer[/caption]

As I was walking to the window to pay, all of the truck and moto drivers were talking about me.  When I got close enough, I said, “I speak Khmer.”  To my right was the taxi driver nodding in agreement.  I love doing this because they get so embarrassed, because they know that they were not saying things they would have wanted me to overhear.

The truck ride was rather short but steep.  We arrived at the parking area, where there were places to g

et food, and a huge group of soldiers playing volleyball.  Most of the soldiers have been moved to Phnom Penh to assist during the political rallies.

[caption id="attachment_149" align="alignright" width="150"] Thai Border & Walkway[/caption]

I had to walk up a wet rocky surface to get to the actual temple.  Which consists of 4 temple sections, connected by 7 walkways of approximately 200 meters each.  The taxi driver, who was still with me pointed out the border of Thailand.

My first thought was, “why are they fighting over this.  It is in the middle of nowhere and although the views are spectacular, it is clearly in Cambodia, attested to by its Unesco World Heritage Site status.

[caption id="attachment_150" align="alignleft" width="150"] This is the view from the front seat[/caption]

I was the only foreigner there that day, luckily I finished my wanderings, grabbed some rice and pork for lunch and we were down the mountain when the rain started.  I would not have wanted to make the drive in that rain.  There was one point in the truck where it felt like we were looking straight down.

Pictures did not do it justice.  There are only 2 Unesco World Heritage Sites in Cambodia – the Preah Vihear Temple and Angkor Wat, so check I have those covered.  Stay tuned for further travels and musings.

 

 

40 & Single - The Reality

Sometimes in the church I feel like I am looked upon as lesser, because I do not have a husband or children.  But other times I am esteemed like many other single missionary ladies of the past and present.  I would have to say that I am happy with my life and singleness about 80% of the time.  However, I do not believe that married women are happy with their lives 100% of the time either.  It probably works out about the same.

[caption id="attachment_139" align="alignright" width="183"] Singleness is a not a state of mind[/caption]

The single journey really began for me, when one night at a Bible study with 4 of my favorite girl friends, we committed to becoming the Godly Women, that would be ready to meet that special man, when the time came.  For me that was in my early thirties.

Little did I know as I undertook trying to discern and live a life that would lead me to that goal, that I would end up as a missionary.  In my life missionaries were those old guys in fat ties, (when skinny ties were popular) who showed slides and told stories of people very far away.  How could that possibly be relevant to me?  Kind of the same way I wondered how the verse that talks about never eating food offered to idols worked in day-to-day life.

But when I was 34 I read Jeremiah 33:3, which says, “call out to me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.”  It is so very true.  Here I am nearly fourteen years later, living in Cambodia, being fairly confident of the fact that if I had married, I would never have found my way here. This has been the greatest adventure of my life.

The hardest thing to do was to let go of finding a husband and trust that to God and his timing.  Sure there are times when I have been lonely, and wished someone was there to walk with me on a day-by-day basis.  But it is in those times God, has proved his faithfulness. I always think about the song, In the Garden, which starts like this:

I come to the garden alone


While the dew is still on the roses


And the voice I hear falling on my ear


The Son of God discloses.

 

And He walks with me,

And He talks with me,


And He tells me I am His own;


And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

 

As I look forward and listen for God’s voice, I wonder what mystery he will unravel, where this journey will take us next.  Singleness is a box on a form, not a state of mind.

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers

“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” Is a famous quote from the Tennessee Williams play A Streetcar Named Desire.

After a day in yesterday, where I got plenty of rest and reading accomplished, I needed to get out.  I seem to write better at coffee shops.  Which is a real misnomer, considering I am a tea drinker or connoisseur, as I like to call myself.  Here in Cambodia the choices are limited, so I typically stick with English Breakfast when I want a black tea.

This morning I went to one of my favorite spots Spinellis and placed my order only to be told that they are out of English Breakfast tea.  What?  I thought. The delightful girl behind the counter made me aware of the alternatives.  None of which was sounding good.

[caption id="attachment_134" align="alignright" width="266"] English Breakfast tea @ Spinellis[/caption]

(Which made me want to hire her for my restaurant, because this is a rare quality in a Cambodian employee)

So, I was just kind of standing there, when a man walked up and gave me an individually wrapped English Breakfast tea bag.  I was a bit stunned.  Thanked him and he told me where he purchased them.

I realized that I have stopped depending on the kindness of strangers.  Here in Cambodia, it is a dog eat dog kind of place.  Even in driving you had better be looking out for yourself, because no one else will.

I was blessed by a simple act. Then it dawned on me that not only had I stopped relying on kindness, but I had stopped giving it as well.  As I drank my tea, which I thoroughly enjoyed, I mused on this topic.

My conclusion is, I can only see the world through my perspective, but I can choose to change my behavior, which changes my outlook.  There is lots of talk about worldview, and yes we see the world differently, but if we want the world to be different, it requires action.

Today I was blessed by the kindness of a stranger, and I plan to pay it forward.

When was the last time you did something unexpected for someone else?