Bowling

Recently I went to a party in a bowling alley in Phnom Penh.  It was a private space that had two lanes and a karaoke machine.  It was for a Birthday party for a friend.  He had invited the staff from Divine Pizza & Ribs along with friends, and my sister and I. 

All the Guys

The Cambodian staff from Divine had never bowled before, so there were a few of us trying to help them understand how to hold the ball and what to do.  We were focused on the mechanics and how to do it right.  The Cambodians were focused on  trying it and having fun. The same goes for singing Karaoke. I would not choose to sing unless I could sing the song well, but the Cambodians jumped right in and sang their hearts out.  A few were pretty good but a couple were less than proficient but they sure had a good time singing and bowling.  

It made me wonder do I focus on the process too much. In my Christian life I try to do things the right way.  That goes for ministry as well.  Maybe I should step back and just enjoy the experiences I have with Jesus and allow that to drive my sharing about Jesus and how I choose to worship Him.  I am I too caught up in the way it should be done, should we sing hymns, or praise music, should I fast every week, or on special occasions.  I am confident that occasionally I over think the process, and that drags all the fun and enjoyment from the experience.  

I am often excited about what I learn about life from my Cambodian friends.  Their worldview is so different from mine.  I have said repeatedly in the past, if I taught them half of what they have taught me, then my time spent in Cambodia would be successful.  I am convinced that I find joy in the freedom of the experience, instead of getting bogged down in the details.  May your day find fun and pleasure in your walk with Jesus. 

Coming Home

Coming Home

When I left Cambodia 9 months ago, I had lived here for 13 plus years and I could not wait to leave.  This past Saturday I stepped off the plane and was amazed at how excited it was and how much it felt like I was coming home.  

I have not written much in the past months, I think I was just tired, and nothing was sparking my mind to talk about.  It involved much sleep and mindless actives, but my mind in renewed and has been a bit on sensory overload.  

The heat is as oppressive, but I am used to that.  Things have changed, new businesses have opened and old friends have closed their shops and moved into new ventures.  Projects have been completed and new projects started.  It is the way of life, change and progress. 

But underneath it all are friends, smiles and great memories.  It has been a busy week catching up with people and helping Divine get a new foot hold and vision for the future. Jet lag won out the other day, but I am pretty sure the smile has not left my face, since meeting a friend who picked us up at the airport.  

Not slowed by the rain or the heat they days are quickly passing and soon I will be headed back to my apartment in Kansas.  It is a sign of the modern times, jet travel and moving around.  But what I have learned in the past few months, is home is where you have friends, a sense of purpose and want to hang your hat, literally. 

I am a blessed girl, because I can feel at home in Cambodia, Southern California and now Kansas. 

Back to Cambodia

I last left you in Hoi An on my way back to Cambodia.  It required a 50 minute flight from DaNang to Pleiku.  An overnight stay and the first place I hit rain the entire time I have been in Vietnam.  Which is rather amazing since while I was gone it rained constantly in Cambodia.  Phnom Penh flooded and over 100 people died due to flash flooding in various locations throughout the country.

Pleiku was the first place in Vietnam where I was off the tourist circuit so I was having a difficult time communicating.  Almost no one spoke English.  It took multiple tries, but finally got a taxi to the bus station, and a place on a mini van headed to the Cambodia border.   It was approximately 90 kilometers but the trip took nearly 3 hours.

[caption id="attachment_173" align="alignright" width="150"] Yaklom Lake, Ratanakiri Cambodia[/caption]

When we were within a stones throw of Cambodia, people started to speak Khmer, so things were looking up.  I coordinated travel to the Eco Lodge where I was going to stay.  It was the easiest border crossing ever, I was the only white person crossing, but I already had a visa.

It had rained on and off the entire morning from Pleiku to the border, but it had stopped at the border.  Within an hour we arrived at the Yaklom Lodge.  Come to find out I was the only one staying there.  Excellent I thought, quiet time to myself.

The problem with an eco lodge is this, no electricity, it works off of solar power, but it was overcast the day I arrived, and rained the entire next two days, so no power.  They ran a generator each night for 3 hours.  So, it was dreary, dark and damp the entire time I was there.

[caption id="attachment_174" align="alignleft" width="150"] Yaklom Lodge Ratanakiri, Cambodia[/caption]

But no matter, I got reading, planning, praying and napping done.  It was a good time to be unconnected from the internet and spend some time with my own thoughts..  I realized that I have made the mental shift, I am moving back to the states, and these past three weeks, have created the space for that transition to happen.

So, my third day I coordinated a moto to pick me up and take me to the bus depot to catch a mini van to Phnom Penh.  I was told the trip would take 10 hours at a cost of 50,000 Riel or $12.50.  It was an interminably bumpy 9.5-hour trip.

It was through some of the most gorgeous green rice fields, on roads I had never traveled before.  I had not gotten out to see much of Ratanakiri due to the rain, but this scenery was amazing.  However the serenity of it all was broken up by 9.5-hours of Khmer Karaoke.  I thought because I was in a mini van I would not have to listen to or watch Karaoke boy was I wrong.

As is always true, even of the best trips it is good to come home to my own bed, my friends and my life.  But this life has less than 90 days before I take my belongings and relocate to SoCal.  Life is a daily adventure I say.

Trip to Preah Vihear Temple

[caption id="attachment_144" align="aligncenter" width="762"] Spectacular view[/caption]

I have lived in Cambodia a long time, but I was working, so traveling around the country was not a high priority.  I drove around a lot in the middle years doing ministry.  So, for vacation I wanted to get out of Cambodia and enjoy a nice Thai beach or head into Bangkok where there were movie theaters and fast food.

I once tried to vacation in Kompong Som (Sihanoukville) but when you speak the language it is a lot harder to ignore the beggars and pushy little kids selling things.  So, I always figured there was more time to go and see some of the sites of Cambodia.

So, here I am 13 years later and my list is quite long of things I want to see in Cambodia.  Admittedly I will probably not get it all done, but am making a valiant effort.  On the other hand it gives me something to look forward to upon my return.

A rather long intro to explain what put me in the taxi for the 3.5 hour trip to Preah Vihear.   I was picked up by a rather nice taxi guy, who was explaining to me that when we arrive, I would have to rent a moto or a 4x4 truck, to get me to the actual temple.  That they do not allow his Camry to go up the mountain.

[caption id="attachment_145" align="alignright" width="191"] 2nd Level Temple[/caption]

A side note on language; Phnom as in Phnom Penh means mountain.  If you have ever been to Phnom Penh, you know it is an exceptionally flat city.  So, I am always a bit hesitant when a Cambodian calls something a mountain – usually they are referring to a small hill.  There is one mountain range in Cambodia running down the western side of the country all the way to the coast, called the Cardamom Mountains.  They truly are mountains.

So, I was taking, a I will wait and see approach to making a decision about this.  But as we got closer, he pointed out the mountain, and it truly was a mountain that was rather steep, I could tell by the switchbacks in the road.  Needless to say I opted for the truck.

[caption id="attachment_147" align="alignleft" width="186"] Selfie - I am getting better at it - note the sneer[/caption]

As I was walking to the window to pay, all of the truck and moto drivers were talking about me.  When I got close enough, I said, “I speak Khmer.”  To my right was the taxi driver nodding in agreement.  I love doing this because they get so embarrassed, because they know that they were not saying things they would have wanted me to overhear.

The truck ride was rather short but steep.  We arrived at the parking area, where there were places to g

et food, and a huge group of soldiers playing volleyball.  Most of the soldiers have been moved to Phnom Penh to assist during the political rallies.

[caption id="attachment_149" align="alignright" width="150"] Thai Border & Walkway[/caption]

I had to walk up a wet rocky surface to get to the actual temple.  Which consists of 4 temple sections, connected by 7 walkways of approximately 200 meters each.  The taxi driver, who was still with me pointed out the border of Thailand.

My first thought was, “why are they fighting over this.  It is in the middle of nowhere and although the views are spectacular, it is clearly in Cambodia, attested to by its Unesco World Heritage Site status.

[caption id="attachment_150" align="alignleft" width="150"] This is the view from the front seat[/caption]

I was the only foreigner there that day, luckily I finished my wanderings, grabbed some rice and pork for lunch and we were down the mountain when the rain started.  I would not have wanted to make the drive in that rain.  There was one point in the truck where it felt like we were looking straight down.

Pictures did not do it justice.  There are only 2 Unesco World Heritage Sites in Cambodia – the Preah Vihear Temple and Angkor Wat, so check I have those covered.  Stay tuned for further travels and musings.

 

 

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers

“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” Is a famous quote from the Tennessee Williams play A Streetcar Named Desire.

After a day in yesterday, where I got plenty of rest and reading accomplished, I needed to get out.  I seem to write better at coffee shops.  Which is a real misnomer, considering I am a tea drinker or connoisseur, as I like to call myself.  Here in Cambodia the choices are limited, so I typically stick with English Breakfast when I want a black tea.

This morning I went to one of my favorite spots Spinellis and placed my order only to be told that they are out of English Breakfast tea.  What?  I thought. The delightful girl behind the counter made me aware of the alternatives.  None of which was sounding good.

[caption id="attachment_134" align="alignright" width="266"] English Breakfast tea @ Spinellis[/caption]

(Which made me want to hire her for my restaurant, because this is a rare quality in a Cambodian employee)

So, I was just kind of standing there, when a man walked up and gave me an individually wrapped English Breakfast tea bag.  I was a bit stunned.  Thanked him and he told me where he purchased them.

I realized that I have stopped depending on the kindness of strangers.  Here in Cambodia, it is a dog eat dog kind of place.  Even in driving you had better be looking out for yourself, because no one else will.

I was blessed by a simple act. Then it dawned on me that not only had I stopped relying on kindness, but I had stopped giving it as well.  As I drank my tea, which I thoroughly enjoyed, I mused on this topic.

My conclusion is, I can only see the world through my perspective, but I can choose to change my behavior, which changes my outlook.  There is lots of talk about worldview, and yes we see the world differently, but if we want the world to be different, it requires action.

Today I was blessed by the kindness of a stranger, and I plan to pay it forward.

When was the last time you did something unexpected for someone else?

Not Wrong Just Different

Recently, I hired a new house helper, after having the last one for nearly 3 years.  It has taken some training and getting used to each other as we find a routine for the days she is here.

[caption id="attachment_131" align="alignright" width="266"] I know what you are thinking it is just different[/caption]

Not too long ago I bought a couple of rugs like this.

After the first day of Serey working, I came home and found all three of the rugs like this.  I know that I have been living here for quite some time because I just laughed and turned them around.

I also knew what she was thinking.  You need the bigger part of the rug to wipe your feet so why would you put that next to the wall where it is hard to use.  Which she confirmed when I asked her.  Actually she was probably thinking foreigners, doesn’t she know that rugs are rectangular?

Today September 12th marks my 13^th year anniversary of being in Cambodia.   If I have learned anything in that time, it is the phrase, “It’s not wrong, just different.”

Being an American it has been a difficult lesson to learn, because I was raised with self-confidence and a work ethic that there is right and wrong.  Yes, there is right and wrong when it comes to morals, laws, etc..   But how the rug is placed on the floor; does it really matter?  Are looks more important than function?

Moving to a new country requires the mindset of a learner.  Things are done here the way my mom taught me.  I have had to be taught and trained like a small child.  If I am not fully vested in the process then, it falls apart really quickly.

It made me think of new Christians.  They come to church so eager and excited, and those of us who have been at this Christian thing for quite some time, can be the biggest killjoys.  They are trying to absorb, learn and grow, when we often want to set them straight.  Why not teach and train them?  They could be the next Billy Graham.

I have to check myself after this many years; I have to remind myself that I still have lots to learn about Cambodia, its culture and people.  I have just as much to learn about Jesus, and how to be in this world and not of this world.

Things around me are not wrong just different, and I need a learner’s attitude to ask the questions and engage the culture so I can function and flourish.  That does not make me a native, but and interested sojourner in this place at this time.

It teaches me lessons; I get to take with me on the journey.  Missions is not a destination it is a journey.

When was the last time you approached something from the attitude of a learner?  Was the result different than when you are sure you know it all?

 

 

Crossing the Street - you thought your mom taught you

Traffic is a funny thing.  Here in Phnom Penh there are a variety of vehicles that can be found on the roads.  Car, trucks, buses, motos, bicycles, three wheeled tuk tuks, fruit carts, and more.  That does not account for the variety of animals you might run into as well.  For most of the day the traffic flow is rather heavy, so crossing the street can be a challenge.

[caption id="attachment_108" align="alignright" width="150"] Phnom Penh - Traffic[/caption]

I do not know about you, but my mom taught me to come to the edge of the street, look both ways and when no one was coming, cross to the other side.   In my late teens I traveled to London, and was saved a few times, by the signs painted in the road reminding you to look right.  I was always looking the wrong way and would have stepped out into traffic.  Obviously that has happened too often, thus the signs.

However in Cambodia a sign painted on the street would not help.  The traffic, or vehicles can come from any direction, or all of them at the same time.  It took me quite a while to learn how to drive, in the craziness, but somehow it flows together.

This is how it works, because the vehicles are coming from multiple directions, so the traffic is never really moving rapidly;  you just have to step out into the madness.  It requires inner fortitude, to start walking and continue at a consistent pace.

The motos will go around you, but you cannot lose your nerve and stop; the consequence would be that they would probably hit you.  The driver is judging where you will be as long as you continue to move and they are planning to go around.

In the beginning it just about terrified me, but now I step out and walk with confidence and faith that those driving will not hit me but allow me to pass.  Sometimes that means I probably undertake unnecessary risks.

By now you are probably wondering where I am going with all this talk about traffic and crossing streets.  Here it is.  I see a parallel between crossing the street and the way we approach our faith.  If we look both ways and wait until it is safe, we are not challenged, and although it might take some waiting we will get across the street eventually.

The other way, takes a step of faith that those around you are participating in the process and allowing you to move forward even if the circumstances seem congested or a bit scary.  You have to learn to read the patterns and have a high degree of trust in those who are on the path with you.  This is accomplished through stepping out and using confidently moving forward.

My faith is stretched when it is used, not usually while I wait for safety.  I am not advocating that you run with abandon, but that our faith journey requires forward movement, with adjustments along the way to get us to the other side.  Life is never simple nor is the plan usually a straight line.  However the old saying goes, it is easier to steer a moving ship.

Have you ever given crossing the street much thought?

Its Raining Tigers & Elephants

I am sitting at Spinelli Coffee Company in Phnom Penh and looking out my window as it is absolutely pouring down.  A good friend of mine to make fun of sayings we use, in America says it is raining tigers and elephants, he says that makes the saying Cambodian.  The streets are starting to flood, but it has not slowed down the traffic too much - it just makes driving a bit trickier.

[caption id="attachment_63" align="alignright" width="266"] Street #61, Phnom Penh - rainy season[/caption]

The tuk tuks have zipped down their side panels, which protects their riders from the rain, but creates a sauna effect inside the green flaps.  So wet or sweaty, not sure which is worse.

What I am thinking is life is a funny thing.  We take a shower daily and enjoy going to a pool to swim, but rain will stop many people in their tracks; it is just water and water dries.  I understand the problem if you are on your way to an important meeting, but really it is just an inconvenience.   I will freely admit I am having these thoughts sitting cozily in a coffee shop with my hot tea in hand, safe and dry, with no where pressing to go.

One of the things I enjoy about living in Cambodia, is that even though at this time of year it rains nearly daily, life kind of gets put on hold until the rain stops and then it resumes.  It is like pushing a pause button.

Wouldn’t life be great if we had a pause button?  When I was a kid I was always frustrated when I turned off the TV, that when I came back it did not resume the same program I had left earlier.  But alas life does not work that way.

Yes, I have been rambling a bit, but here is the point.  Ready for it.  Life is not the destination it is the little parts that add up to the whole story.  I don’t want my story to be more about staying dry and avoiding the inconveniences of life, but instead shouting Carpe Diem and enjoying each moment as it comes.

I walked out into the rain to take the above picture and guess what I did not melt.  A few strange looks were cast my way, but so what.  I want to venture into a life lived.  I named this blog Two M Ventures for a reason.  I refer to myself as two m because of my initials.  My tag line is “life is a daily adventure.”  But venture can be used as a verb which means to dare, journey, set out, to stick one’s neck out.  This is the type of life I desire.

 

How about you what kind of life do you desire?

 

Time does it Fly or Walk?

Time - Does it Fly or Walk

I was asked the other day what I like most about living in Cambodia.  The answer is quick and easy, the pace of life.  The question asker looked at me a bit puzzled so I started to explain.

In America we talk about time flying by, but in Cambodia they talk about how time walks.  She was still a bit perplexed. I continued, it is a matter of worldview.  In America time is money, which makes it so very valuable to us.  In Cambodia time is plentiful but people are important. So, their day to day, moment to moment choices are different.  Often I want to think that it is wrong, but when I embraced the saying it is not wrong just different, I opened myself up to chance to join in and try something different.

Appointments get pushed off if you are with someone right now.  Whatever you are doing right now is more important than the next thing.  You will deal with the next thing next.  I will freely admit that in the beginning this idea nearly drove me mad.  It always seemed like I was the one waiting around.  When my Cambodian friends would show up and I was annoyed they would look at me with that “What?” expression, not even a shoulder shrug, with no concern that they might be 30 minutes or more late for something.

It took a couple of years for me to ease into this mind set.  I will honestly admit, it was a difficult transition, but one that I am happy I made. I live a much slower life focused on people and relationship rather then the almighty day planner.  Freedom is what I have found. The freedom to choose this moment, not be so focused on the next that I miss this one.  Freedom to pursue relationships, by having an hour and a half lunch.

The main difference I see is in the approach to the day.  I schedule things for the day, but I limit them to 2 or 3 things, not something for each hour slot.  The day flows, I accomplish my main tasks most of the time, but I spend time on the things that really matter people, me included.

One of the first things I noticed when I came to Cambodia is that the crescent moon is on the bottom, where in Southern California it is on the side.  It is a visual reminder to me that Cambodians see the world differently than I do.

I have come closer to their way of thinking, but my Americanness continues to win out sometimes.  Especially, when it comes to consumerism.  I have that urge to buy the newest, biggest & brightest thing.  Where Cambodians are reuse, make do or do with out types.

Again they have been the teachers and I the student.  Pace of life is part of what makes it good, simple and easy.  I have always said that life is a daily adventure and living overseas, has made it better and challenged my worldview.  I believe I now have the best of both viewpoints.

How has your worldview been challenged recently?

Elections and Politicians

I have been living in Cambodia for the past 13 years, so I have been kind of out of the American political loop, but with each election, I feel like I understand a bit more what is happening here.  Voting is something many young people in America take for granted. Conversely, it is something that is being cherished and brings hope for change and a better life in Cambodia.  Unfortunately, corruption is very high, so often, the hopes are dashed.

It made me think of Abraham Lincoln.  He lost every election but the presidency.  He was the one who said, "No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent."

One of the things I see most often these days is people desiring change.  However they are looking for other people to affect that change, but true change comes from within.  Like the quote says we choose to consent to let others govern us.  Yes there are situations where we have no control, ie corrupt governments.

But that is where the above quote comes to play.  Change almost never happens quickly.  My mom says change is a wide curve that is best taken slowly.  It requires us to continue to put one foot in front of the other, no matter how slowly but walking forward toward the goal of change.

Having a degree in political science, I enjoy reading, watching and analyzing the process.  But at this age, I have realized that I can expect very little change from any politician no matter what they promise.  The change starts with my own decision to face reality and move in the appropriate direction to change myself first.

I am not saying that voting is bad, I believe in the process.  I think people need to be informed and participate, because if not one day the politicians will say they don't really care. So why do we have elections?  It is cheaper and easier for us just to decide for them, besides we know better then they what they need.

Life is a daily journey and true joy does not come from the things around us.  Yes they impact us but our own choices, experiences and expectations are what continue to drive us.  Choose to have the life you want by taking that first step. Choose Joy today.

What first step really made a difference in your life?